The Practice of Using December for Retreat, Reflection & Letting Go


December can be a cold and dark month for many people, a time of lowered energy while still being very busy. For that reason, I find that’s an amazing time for:

·                                 Retreat: Take a little time out of my busy year for a little quiet solitude and turn inward, creating space for silence, contemplation, and mindfulness.

·                                 Reflection: This quiet time is a time to reflect on how the year has gone, and how I’d like to move into the New Year. We don’t often give ourselves enough time for reflection, as we’re always busy with activities.

·                                 Letting go: What have we become burdened with over the past year? Over the past decade? This time of turning inward is also a great time to let go of burdens, resentments, etc.
It’s a season for retreat and reflection, for me. Let’s talk about how that can look.

Creating Space for Retreat


Imagine that you were to sign up for a retreat this month … you put aside your daily life, all your busy work, all your projects and errands, and emails and messages … and you travel to another place. In this place, you remove yourself from the busy world and find space for quiet. For reflection. For contemplation, setting intentions, and reviewing how things have gone. For gratitude and appreciation for life. You might meditate, relax, read, or journal. You might take a walk in nature, or find solitude. You might just mindfully enjoy the space. You can do all of this without traveling, right where you are. It takes intention and taking action to create the space.


1                         Intention: You simply have to create the intention to create space for retreat. It’s as simple as saying, “I am going to create some space for reflection, mindfulness, gratitude, intention and letting go this month.” It’s the same as when you create the intention to sign up for a retreat, but instead of paying someone else to create the space for you … you do it yourself. Set the intention, even write it down.

2                          Create the space: This takes a little more work, but it’s absolutely doable. When can you create space for a retreat? Can you carve out 30-60 minutes a day? A couple hours? Can you take every Saturday off for this month? Or a full three days this weekend, or a full five days? It’s a matter of blocking off the time in your calendar, and then getting things done so that you can have that space — clearing out urgent messages and tasks, rescheduling appointments, and talking to people in your life so that you can have this space. It might mean renegotiating deadlines or project timelines. If you were going to travel to a retreat, you’d do all of this — this will just cost you less.

Now, you can actually go to a different place during your retreat — take a walk in a park or forest, or rent a hotel room in your city. Or you can do it at home if you can resist distractions. But the key thing is not to get caught up in your usual tasks and routines. Retreat from life, so that you can contemplate and reflect. Find solitude. Practice gratitude and mindfulness. Use a paper notebook and practice journaling.

Using This Time for Reflection


So you have a little space — maybe 30-60 minutes a day, maybe a day or two a week, maybe more. This space can be considered sacred. It’s devotional time, where you can devote yourself completely to:

·                                 Reflecting on your past year — how has it gone? What went well? What did you struggle with? What can you learn from all of that?

·                                 Reflecting on what you’re grateful for, and what you’d like to appreciate more of in your life.

·                                 Reflecting on what you might be holding onto — grudges, frustrations, resentments, emotional baggage, attachment — that you can let go of (more in the next section).

·                                 Contemplating what’s most meaningful to you in your life.

·                                 Contemplating what kind of meaningful work or purpose you’d like to pursue, or how to better pursue that.

·                                 Contemplating what you’d like to put your focus on.

·                                 Being mindful of each moment, and allowing yourself to appreciate the moment in silence.

You don’t have to do all of these, but you can consider which feels right to you. The idea is to use this sacred time for reflection, gratitude, mindfulness, contemplation, and solitude. Let this time in solitude be replenishing. Let it heal you. Let it be a beautiful time in your life.

Living For Everyone Else.....


A lot of people don’t do minimalism because it doesn’t seem realistic for their lives. But what they often mean is that they don’t want others to think they’re weird.
Wearing the same clothes every day might seem weird to your friends and co-workers. Having no car might make you seem like an oddball. Not having a smartphone might make you uncool. Living in a small home or an RV might make everyone think you’re poor or crazy. 
But who  are we living for?
I am all for living to help other people, but when we live our lives to the expectations of other people; we end up living lives we don’t want. And what do we get when we live up to the expectations of all these other people? They really don’t care — they just don’t like things different because they are uncomfortable with change. Staying the same as everyone else doesn’t make everyone else happier — it just doesn’t force them to reflect on their lives.
Where do these expectations come from, anyway? Other people didn’t just make them up — they are customs built up over the years, often very consciously by corporations trying to get us into expensive buying habits
For example, we have so many clothes, gadgets and other possessions because ads have sold us on the idea that we need clothing to look stylish, to be successful, to feel like we are above ourselves or as good as the people we idolize and worship.
Now don’t get me wrong I like nice things too and I am I’m not saying we should go live in the woods and ignore society (though that’s not a bad option). People don’t go wild with anger when they hear that I don’t celebrate holidays but I might get a raised eyebrow when they find out I dance to the beat of my own drum and I enjoy listening to the wind whisper and the flow of progress. Here what I have learned over the years is hurt people, hurt people and you don't need everyone to like or even love you. 
I have learned that  you have to learn to block out the noises of the drama and negativity and focus on taking deep breath, reset, reshift and restart again and go on with your life. 
Go against the stream — the other fish don’t know where they’re going either!
When it comes to others, be helpful, compassionate, and establish your boundaries. But don’t live up to their expectations. You’ll be freed of the shackles of meaningless customs, so that you can live as you want one day at a time.....

Dimensions of Personal Empowerment

The following ‘dimensions of personal empowerment’ are based on the belief that the greater the range of coping responses an individual develops, the greater their chance of coping effectively with diverse life situations.

These dimensions are:
Self-Awareness
Self-awareness involves understanding our individual character and how we are likely to respond to situations.
This enables us to build on our positive qualities and be aware of any negative traits which may reduce our effectiveness.  Self-aware people make conscious decisions to enhance their lives whenever possible, learning from past experiences.
Values
Values are opinions or beliefs that are important to us but of which we are not always aware.
They can be any kind of belief or perceived obligation, anything we prefer and for any reason. The reasons we may prefer one thing over another, or choose one course of action over another, may not always be obvious or known; there may be no apparent reason for our values. Nevertheless our values are important to us as individuals. In order to be self-aware it is necessary to be aware of our values, to critically examine them and to accept that our values may be different from those of others.
Skills
An individual's skills are the main resource which enables them to achieve their desired goals.
Skills can be gained through experience, practice, education and training. It is only by developing such skills that individual values can be translated into action.
Information
Knowledge or information is necessary in the development of self-awareness and skills.
Knowing where to find appropriate information is in itself an essential skill. Without information, the choices open to people are limited, both in their personal and working lives. The internet has provided an easy way for everybody to access huge amounts of information very quickly and easily.  The problem is then centered around the quality of the information found, and the skill set is concerned with finding accurate and reliable information.
Goals
Setting goals is a means by which an individual can take charge of their life.
The process of setting a goal involves people thinking about their values and the direction that they would like their lives to follow. Choices are made through reflection followed by action. Goals should always be both specific and realistic. Setting personal goals gives us a sense of direction in life, this direction is essential to personal empowerment.

Note 2 Self:
 Trust can be broken very quickly and may never be restored to its former level. Think about the points above and try to build and maintain trusting relationships in both your personal and professional life.

 Reference:
Read more at: https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/personal-empowerment.html


Simplify Your Day to Have a Greater Impact

Our society is obsessed with productivity and optimizing our lives — having the perfect routine, perfect diet, perfect productivity system, perfect to-do app, and more.
It’s an ideal that not only doesn’t exist; it’s harmful to our health and happiness. And what’s more, it’s completely misguided — what many of us really want to do with our work is do meaningful work and have an impact on the world.
So how can we let go of the focus on productivity and optimizing, while still doing meaningful work and having an impact?
Simplify. Focus on the important, meaningful tasks instead of churning. And actually dive into those meaningful tasks instead of procrastinating because of the uncertainty that comes with them.
Look at your task list and email/messages inbox and pick the most meaningful tasks — there’s a good chance you’ve been putting them off. Instead, when you don’t go to your favorite distractions, you are likely to churn through smaller tasks, answering messages, checking on inboxes and updates.
This is because meaningful, important tasks come with great uncertainty. We habitually respond to this uncertainty by avoiding it, going to distraction and easier tasks that make us feel less uncertain.
But the result is that we’re churning through a lot of busywork, spending our days doing a lot but not getting a lot accomplished.
Instead, we can simplify:
  1.                           Pick meaningful tasks, and focus on those.
  2.                            Create space by clearing away distractions.
  3.                            Letting the busywork get pushed until later in the day, when we set aside room for those.
  4.                           And putting our entire being into the meaningful, important tasks.
Imagine clearing out space in your day by simplifying, letting go of the small tasks, not constantly answering messages and emails, and instead giving yourself the generous gift of focusing.
You’d get the meaningful tasks done, and feel like your work is more meaningful. Those tasks would make a greater impact, and over time, you’d have a great impact on the world.
All because you simplified and focused.


Junk Food Sex: What Kind Of Relationships Are You Consuming

Junk Food Sex. Let’s call it what it is.

Not everything that feels good is good for you.

Some interactions look like connections…
sound like intimacy…
feel like closeness…

but leave you empty the moment it’s over.

That’s what “junk food sex” is.

It’s convenient.
It’s accessible.
It’s everywhere.

And just like junk food, it gives you a quick hit of satisfaction…
but no real nourishment.

What it actually does

You’re not just engaging physically.
You’re forming attachments, even if you don’t name them.

But when there’s no real foundation, no emotional safety, no alignment…

you’re left holding a feeling that was never built to last.

So now you’re:

  • Replaying conversations
  • Questioning intentions
  • Feeling connected… but not secure

That’s emotional malnourishment.

The part people don’t like to hear

Waiting isn’t about rules.
It’s about clarity.

Research suggests that couples who delay sexual involvement tend to have stronger long-term outcomes compared to those who move quickly. Not because time is magic, but because time reveals truth.

When you slow down:

  • You see patterns, not just potential
  • You assess consistency, not just chemistry
  • You build emotional connection before physical attachment

Premature intimacy can blur your judgment.
It can create a false sense of security in something that hasn’t been tested.

Let’s be honest

Sometimes we don’t move fast because it’s right.

We move fast because:

  • We want reassurance
  • We don’t want to lose the moment
  • We’re trying to secure something that hasn’t secured us

But physical closeness does not equal emotional safety.

Recap: Junk Food Sex looks like…

  • Feels good in the moment, but leaves you empty after
  • Easy to access, hard to sustain
  • High chemistry, low foundation
  • Temporary satisfaction, long-term confusion
  • Connection without commitment
  • Intimacy without intentionality

The shift

Start asking better questions:

  • Does this actually nourish me?
  • Do I feel safe… or just attached?
  • Is this building something… or just passing time?

Because your body can participate in something your spirit is not aligned with.

And eventually… that disconnect speaks.

You don’t need more access.
You need alignment.

Real connection doesn’t rush to prove itself.

It builds.

Slow.
Clear.
Intentional.  

My-T-By-Design Therapeutic Art Studio First Year Grand Opening Ribbon Cutting Celebration

My-T-By-Design Therapeutic Art Studio First Year Grand Opening Ribbon Cutting Celebration Event with Owner, Lakisha Harper- Bradley


Over 13 businesses/entrepreneur  was recognize and took part in the biggest ribbon  cutting with Mayor Lioneld  Jordan of Fayetteville, Arkansas, for this monumental event.
About Lakisha Harper-Bradley, she is a Mother ☆ Motivational Artist ☆ Entrepreneur ☆ Community Advocate ☆ Learning and Growing Through Life
Lakisha Pearls of Wisdom-
When you hear those whispers saying it’s time for a change or to do something that is out of the ordinary that is your inner soul speaking to you. Even though it may be scary and uncomfortable in the moment, just trust and believe the process because what is unordinary will soon manifest itself to be an extraordinary blessing bigger than you can image.









 We believe that you are MIGHTY BY DESIGN and that is why it is our mission to help you SEE YOUR VALUE and KNOW YOUR WORTH through our impactful process.

Check Us Out-
At MY-T-BY-DESIGN, our events are unique that #1 We have a studio and We’re Mobile! #2 We customize our workshops based on your needs. #3 We combine technology, conversation, leadership/personal development training, painting and much more!

For More Information, Contact-
Lakisha Harper-Bradley
CEO/Founder, MY-T-BY-DESIGN “Imperfectly Painting with a Purpose”
Email: 23breakthrough@gmail.com
https://www.facebook.com/mytbydesign/
https://www.mytbydesign.com/index.php

Love, Life, and Your Health: Helpful Things to Know If You're Considering A Hysterectomy

Hysterectomy is the surgical removal of the uterus. It ends menstruation and the ability to become pregnant. Depending on the reason for the surgery, a hysterectomy may also involve the removal of other organs and tissues, such as the ovaries and/or fallopian tubes.

Your health care provider might recommend a hysterectomy if you have
·         Fibroids. Many hysterectomies are done to permanently treat these benign tumors in your uterus that can cause persistent bleeding, anemia, pelvic pain, and pain during intercourse and bladder pressure. For large fibroids, you might need surgery that removes your uterus through an incision in your lower abdomen (abdominal hysterectomy).
·         Endometriosis. This occurs when the tissue lining your uterus (endometrium) grows outside the uterus, involving the ovaries, fallopian tubes or other organs. Most women with endometriosis have a laparoscopic or robotic hysterectomy or abdominal hysterectomy, but sometimes a vaginal hysterectomy is possible.
·         Adenomyosis. This occurs when the tissue that normally lines the uterus grows into the uterine wall. An enlarged uterus and painful, heavy periods result.
·         Gynecological cancer. If you have cancer of the uterus, cervix, endometrium or ovaries, or precancerous changes, your doctor might recommend a hysterectomy. Most often, treatment for ovarian cancer involves an abdominal hysterectomy, but sometimes vaginal hysterectomy is appropriate for women with cervical or endometrial cancer.
·         Uterine prolapse. When pelvic supporting tissues and ligaments weaken or stretch out, the uterus can sag into the vagina, causing urine leakage, pelvic pressure or difficulty with bowel movements. Removing the uterus and repairing supportive tissues might relieve those symptoms.
·         Abnormal uterine bleeding. When medication or a less invasive surgical procedure doesn't control irregular, heavy or very long periods, hysterectomy may be needed.
·         Chronic pelvic pain. If your pain is clearly caused by a uterine condition, hysterectomy might help, but only as a last resort. Chronic pelvic pain can have several causes, so an accurate diagnosis of the cause is critical before having a hysterectomy.

Types of Hysterectomy

  • Partial Hysterectomy – removes the body of the uterus while the cervix is left in place.
  • Total or Simple Hysterectomy – removes the entire uterus and cervix.
  • Hysterectomy with Bilateral Salpingo-Oophorectomy – removes the uterus, cervix, and fallopian tubes.
  • Radical Hysterectomy – removes the uterus, cervix, ovaries, fallopian tubes and possible upper portions of the vagina and affected lymph glands.

Are there alternatives to hysterectomy?

Depending on your condition, you may want to try other options first that do not involve surgery or to “watch and wait” to see if your condition improves on its own (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, 2018). Some women wait to have a hysterectomy until after they have completed their families. If you choose another option besides hysterectomy, keep in mind that you may need additional treatment later.

Risks

Although vaginal hysterectomy is generally safe, any surgery has risks. Risks of vaginal hysterectomy include:
  • ·               Heavy bleeding
  • ·               Blood clots in the legs or lungs
  • ·               Infection
  • ·               Damage to surrounding organs
  • ·               Adverse reaction to anesthetic

Severe endometriosis or scar tissue (pelvic adhesions) might force your surgeon to switch from vaginal hysterectomy to laparoscopic or abdominal hysterectomy during the surgery.
Except in cases of suspected uterine cancer, the surgeon might cut an enlarged uterus into smaller pieces and remove it in sections (morcellation).

What should I expect after having a hysterectomy?

According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, 2018, you can expect to have some pain for the first few days after the surgery. You will be given medication to relieve pain. You will have bleeding and discharge from your vagina for several weeks. Sanitary pads can be used after the surgery. Constipation is common after most hysterectomies.
Some women have temporary problems with emptying the bladder after a hysterectomy. Other effects may be emotional. It is not uncommon to have an emotional response to hysterectomy. You may feel depressed that you are no longer able to bear children, or you may be relieved that your former symptoms are gone
What are some important things I should know about recovery?
Follow your health care professional's instructions. Be sure to get plenty of rest, but you also need to move around as often as you can.
  • ·        Take short walks and gradually increase the distance you walk every day.
  • ·        You should not lift heavy objects until your doctor says you can.
  • ·        Do not put anything in your vagina during the first 6 weeks. That includes douching, having sex, and using tampons

After you recover, you should continue to see your health care professional for routine gynecologic exams and general health care. Depending on the reason for your hysterectomy, you still may need pelvic exams and cervical cancer.
References:
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (2018, October). Hysterectomy. Retrieved from https://www.acog.org/Patients/FAQs/Hysterectomy?
Cleveland Clinic. (2018, June 25). Hysterectomy. Retrieved from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/4852-hysterectomy
National Women’s Health Network (NWHN). (2016, November 28). Hysterectomy. Retrieved from https://www.nwhn.org/hysterectomy/
Mayo Clinic. (2018, December 13). Vaginal hysterectomy. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/vaginal-hysterectomy/about/pac-20384541

My Three Most Powerful Motivations

My Three Most Powerful Motivations

We all have times when we’re not sticking to our plans, not feeling psyched about what we’re supposed to be doing, and when we know we just need to get some motivation to get moving. 
The usual motivational tips aren’t always very helpful.
But there are three motivations that I’ve found to be truly powerful.
  1.  Remembering That Your Days Are Limited.
  2.  Remembering The Hearts of Who You’re Doing This For. (Leaving A Legacy and Becoming Kingdom Minded) 
  3.  Remember to Cherish Every Moment. Have Faith,  Be Thankful and Find Adventure Ways To Create Memories.
If you can bring in a combination of all three, you’ll be unstoppable. 
Note 2 Self:
Meditate on those you care deeply about. Find a place in your heart where you feel a deep love for them. Find a devotion in your heart that is more powerful than your inertia, or feelings of being stuck, or not wanting to do anything right now. They deserve for you to rise up, and meditating on their hearts regularly will be an incredible motivator.
 Note 2 Self:
I’ve found that most things are impossible to sustain for very long if they’re only serious, if they’re boring, if they feel like a chore. You might be stuck right now in a project or situated  that feels like a chore.What transforms you from being or feeling stuck is  filling your life with  mix of:
  • faith
  • pray
  • excitement
  • discovery
  • adventure
  • fun
  • humor
  • challenge
  • play
  • love
  • embracing the moment

Note 2 Self: Now, not everything is going to be fun and exciting. However, don't lose sight of what's important to you and for you. 

 Powerful Motivations Tips To Help Get Things Done

For example:
  • Email and messages: Make it a game to zap as many emails from your inbox as possible. For 20 minutes max! Then move on to some other game. You might also bring a sense of humor and playfulness to how your write your emails, when appropriate.
  • Finances: Make it a game to get your debt as low as possible. Or your investments as big as possible. Or your expenses down below a certain threshold. Post the current number somewhere visible, and then get excited about trying to move the needle.
  • Writing a book: See it as an exploration of the unknown, an adventure where you are taking yourself (and your reader) into new territory, discovering, finding deep curiosity, learning about yourself as you emerge in the writing process.
  • Your todo list: Instead of looking at it as a list of chores, can you see each item on the list as a new challenge, an opportunity to grow and show up in a new way, a new adventure or exploration? Can you be curious and open-minded about each one?

Four Additional Powerful Tips

The three powerful motivations above are life-changing, in my experience. But there are a few additional tips that really help:
  1. Get rest. If you’re exhausted, it’s hard to get motivation. Stop staying up late on your computer or watching TV, and instead give yourself some loving rest. You will be much more motivated from this place of rest.
  2. Find stillness. If your life is busyness and constant motion, constant doing … you will have a hard time going deep with anything, or pushing into discomfort when your habit is running to distraction all the time. Instead, pull yourself away, and find a place of quietude. Or even just sit still in the middle of busy motion, like on a subway train or in the middle of your city or office space. I found stillness in the middle of a mall the other day. This stillness and inner quiet that you cultivate by being still … it helps you to refresh yourself and come to your tasks with an intention that you can’t bring if you’re always rushing.
  3. Start very small. If you want to walk up a mountain, don’t try to tackle the entire mountain at once. Just take the first step. It can feel very obvious to take a tiny first step, but don’t discount the power of this. Have a whole book to write? Try just writing one paragraph. You’ll see what shifts once you do that.
  4. Create powerful accountability. Can’t stick to your intention of creating this new project or business? Get a sacred board of directors to hold your intention, to keep you on track. Meet with them weekly. Be honest about what you’re afraid of, what’s been holding you back, what you did to move forward, what your intentions are for this coming week. Tell them to not let you fail. Tell them to hold your feet to the fire, lovingly.
If you implement these motivations and additional tips, I have no doubt in the world that you can move mountains and walk through walls. If it all feels like too much, just start small, and take the tiniest first step. It’s a beautiful one.
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