The Road to Resilience…..

Resilience was defined by most as the ability to recover from setbacks, adapt well to change and keep going in the face of adversity (Ovans, 2015).

Introduction

How do people deal with difficult events that change their lives? The death of a loved one, loss of a job, serious illness, terrorist attacks, and other traumatic events: are all examples of very challenging life experiences. Many people react to such circumstances with a flood of strong emotions and a sense of uncertainty.
Yet people generally adapt well over time to life-changing situations and stressful conditions. What enables them to do so? It involves resilience, an ongoing process that requires time and effort and engages people in taking a number of steps.

The information describes resilience and some factors that affect how people deal with hardship.

What is resilience?

Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress — such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. It means "bouncing back" from difficult experiences.

Research has shown that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary. People commonly demonstrate resilience. One example is the response of many Americans to September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, and individuals' efforts to rebuild their lives. Being resilient does not mean that a person doesn't experience difficulty or distress.
Emotional pain and sadness are common in people who have suffered major adversity or trauma in their lives. In fact, the road to resilience is likely to involve considerable emotional distress.

Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed by anyone.

Strategies For Building Resilience

Developing resilience is a personal journey. People do not all react the same to traumatic and stressful life events. An approach to building resilience that works for one person might not work for another. People use varying strategies.

Some variations may reflect cultural differences. A person's culture might have an impact on how he or she communicates feelings and deals with adversity — for example, whether and how a person connects with significant others, including extended family members and community resources. With growing cultural diversity, the public has greater access to a number of different approaches to building resilience.

10 ways to build resilience

Make connections. Good relationships with close family members, friends, or others are important. Accepting help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you strengthens resilience. Some people find that being active in civic groups, faith-based organizations, or other local groups provides social support and can help with reclaiming hope. Assisting others in their time of need also can benefit the helper.

Accept that change is a part of living. Certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter. Move toward your goals. Develop some realistic goals. Do something regularly — even if it seems like a small accomplishment — that enables you to move toward your goals. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, "What's one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?"

Look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, a greater sense of strength even while feeling vulnerable, an increased sense of self-worth, a more developed spirituality, and a heightened appreciation for life.

Nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience. Keep things in perspective. Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion.

Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good thing will happen in your life. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear. Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself helps to keep your mind and body primed to deal with situations that require resilience.

Additional ways of strengthening resilience may be helpful. For example, some people write about their deepest thoughts and feelings related to trauma or other stressful events in their life. Meditation and spiritual practices help some people build connections and restore hope. The key is to identify ways that are likely to work well for you as part of your own personal strategy for fostering resilience.


References:

American Psychological Association (APA). (n.d.). The road to resilience. Retrieved from http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx

Ovans, A. (2015, January 5). What Resilience Means, and Why It Matters. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2015/01/what-resilience-means-and-why-it-matters
APA is the leading scientific and professional organization representing psychology in the United States, with more than 115,700 researchers, educators, clinicians, consultants, and students as its members.

American Psychological Association: APA, located in Washington, D.C., is the leading scientific and professional organization representing psychology in the United States. APA works to advance psychology as a science and profession and as a means of promoting health and human welfare.

Smiling Depression: What You Need to Know

What is smiling depression?

Smiling depression doesn’t just affect people with low incomes and sketchy lives. It doesn’t target dysfunctional homes and rebellious teens (Hurd, A.A., 2017). 

Smiling depression, believe it or not, often affects seemingly happy couples, the educated, and the accomplished (Hurd, A.A., 2017). To the outside world, you got it; these victims seem like the most successful individuals (Hurd, A.A., 2017).

 “Smiling depression” is a term for someone living with depression on the inside while appearing perfectly happy or content on the outside (Elmer, 2018). Their public life is usually one that’s “put together,” maybe even what some would call normal or perfect (Elmer, 2018).

Smiling depression isn’t recognized as a condition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) but would likely be diagnosed as a major depressive disorder with atypical features (Elmer, 2018).

What are the symptoms of smiling depression?

Someone experiencing smiling depression would — from the outside —appear happy or content to others. On the inside, however, they would be experiencing the distressful symptoms of depression. 

Depression affects everyone differently and has a variety of symptoms; the most distinguished being deep, prolonged sadness. Other classic symptoms include:

• changes in appetite, weight, and sleeping
• fatigue or lethargy
• feelings of hopelessness, lack of self-esteem, and low self-worth
• loss of interest or pleasure in doing things that were once enjoyed

Photo by Jopwell from Pexels

Someone with smiling depression may experience some or all of the above, but in public, these symptoms would be mostly — if not completely — absent. To someone looking from the outside, a person with a smiling depression might look like:

• an active, high-functioning individual
• someone holding down a steady job, with a healthy family and social life
• a person appearing to be cheerful, optimistic, and generally happy

If you’re experiencing depression yet continue to smile and put on a façade, you may feel:

• like showing signs of depression would be a sign of weakness
• like you would burden anyone by expressing your true feelings
• that you don’t have depression at all, because you’re “fine”
• that others have it worse, so what do you have to complain about?
• that the world would be better off without you

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Why People Hide Their Depression

It's not uncommon for people to keep their depression private. From wanting to protect their privacy to fearing judgment by others, there are many personal and professional reasons why people hide their symptoms of depression (Morin LCSW & Snyder, MD, 2020).

If you think someone you know has smiling depression, share your concerns. Normalize mental health issues and talk to them about how they can get help. And, offer emotional support as well as practical support(Morin LCSW & Snyder, MD, 2020).

 

 

A Word From Kysha Ann  

                              Retreat: Take a little time out of the day for a little quiet solitude and turning inward, creating space for silence, contemplation, and mindfulness.

·                                 Reflection: This quiet time is a time to reflect on how the year has gone, and how I’d like to move into the New Year. We don’t often give ourselves enough time for reflection, as we’re always busy inactivity.

·                                 Letting go: What have we become burdened with over the past year? Over the past decade? This time of turning inward is also a great time to let go of burdens, resentments, etc.

References

 

Elmer, J. (2018, November 18). Smiling Depression: Symptoms, risk factors, test, treatments, and more. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/smiling-depression

 

Hurd, A.A., S. (2017, March 17). Smiling depression: How to recognize the darkness behind a cheerful facade. Learning Mind. https://www.learning-mind.com/smiling-depression/

 

Labeaune, Psy.D., R. (2014, November 12). The secret pain of "Smiling" Depression. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-guest-room/201411/the-secret-pain-smiling-depression

Morin, LCSW, A., & Snyder, MD, C. (2020, April 15). Could you have smiling depression? Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-smiling-depression-4775918

The Power of Getting Clarity

Clarity helps us to focus, to take action, to feel energized. A lack of clarity causes stress, inaction, a scattered focus, relationship difficulties, confusion on teams.

Some examples of areas to find clarity in:

• Your mission in life
• Your morning routine
• Your financial plan
• What you need to do to improve your relationship
• How you’ll get healthier
• What others expect of you; what you expect of them
• How a meeting will be run
• What your boundaries are in each relationship

As you can see, this is a pretty broad topic — it can apply to every part of our lives. And we don’t have to be perfect, and we don’t have to get clarity on everything this week. It’s something to bring awareness to, that we can improve over time.

But the more we find clarity, the more we’ll have focus, calm, motivation.

How to Get Clarity

OK, great … we want to get clarity in our lives … how do we do that? I’ll share some things I’ve learned for finding clarity:

1. Create some space. When we’re unclear on something (how we should reach a goal, for example) … most often we put it off instead of getting any clarity. Instead, try creating some space to get clarity. Carve out an hour. Half a day. A weekend. (Depending on how big the thing is that you need clarity on.) Then do the things below. But carve out the space.
2. Journal, iterate. Write about what you need clarity on — it doesn’t have to be any solid answers, or any kind of coherent writing. Just let your thoughts pour out. Stream of consciousness. Just give yourself space to reflect.
3. Meditate & contemplate. Similarly, you can go out in nature and spend some time in solitude. Go for a walk. Sit on a rock. Meditate. See what comes up for you. Hold one question in your mind: “What do I want here?” Or something like that. See if anything emerges as you hold the question.
4. Talk to others. Share your thoughts with others. Share what you’re not sure about. What you’re afraid of. Hear their thoughts. Just the act of talking it out is valuable — you’re giving space for your thoughts and feelings, and having them heard. Often you can get clarity from a good conversation.
5. When you have a little clarity, write it down. If you have some kind of answer, any kind of clarity at all, write it down as simply as you can. Two sentences. Putting it down simply helps it become more clear. And then you can start to take action on it.
6. Take action to get clarity. Many people think they need to have clarity before they take action, but it often happens the other way around. Have the slightest bit of direction? Go in that direction, take the first steps, see what it’s like. You’ll learn more from doing than going back and forth on things. For example, as I started working on my mission, I got clearer and clearer that this is what was meaningful for me, but I also got clearer on how I’d go about doing it. Maybe in a couple years, I’ll have even more clarity, but I’m not going to wait for that in order to take action. Start moving, and learn from that.
7. Reflect after you take action and get clearer. As you set things in motion, it’s useful to step back every month or two to see how things are going. What have you learned? What’s getting in the way? Use what you’ve learned to get even more clarity. Write it down simply. Take action again.

What areas of your life need clarity? How is the lack of clarity affecting you and those around you? Are you ready to create the space to get the clarity?

How Youlanda Thomas CEO and Founder of Hands of Compassion Group Corporation Is Making A Difference During COVID-19 Pandemic

Youlanda Thomas is the Founder/CEO of this charity non profit organization corporation. Youlanda is a single mother of three daughters.  Ms. Youlanda Thomas was born in Ashdown, Arkansas and has been in the production and warehouse industry since the age of sixteen.

 Youlanda's life is full of joy, pain and strength. It is through her  testimony that speaks volume from a place of love, determination, her faith  and support of those who never gave up on her. 

Youlanda  has been involved in 15 years of community services such as:

• visiting the sick
• visiting shut ins
• assisting bereavement individuals
• helping families
• Walk for cure Breast Cancer Events
• feeding elderly in communities

Youlanda is the first female out of 10 siblings of my family to own individual and family industry business. Non-Profit charity organization functions only through phenomenal non-segregated team members with passion to serve all humanity and donations help us provide the services to the near and far communities. 

The group was formed during the COVID-19 Pandemic, which caused the schools to close at unexpected time for students. Some low income community students depend on the two warm meals, hugs, and the smiles from their school. 

So we knew this service was essential. The team travels to communities to purchase from local business in the area which we serve the kids to support local businesses as well. We work the communities by compliance with property management before proceeding with our services.

 April 15, 2020 was our first event to serve 400 free meals into three combined low income communities. We provided by McDonald's, community sponsors and team members made the event successful. Hands Of Compassion is growing into helping past the pandemic crisis of 2020. We are a traveling non profit organization to meet the needs of the communities in their comfort zones. 

The vision is to serve all humanity in all communities. Our goal is for no one to be neglected of essentials and spiritual needs within arms reach, transforming the communities into environments with dignity and self motivation to be safe.

Matthew 25:4

We'll Lend a Helping Hand

PROVIDING COMMUNITY OUTREACH PROGRAMS IN TEXARKANA, AR

Hands of Compassion is a local organization offering community outreach programs for individuals in low-income communities, patients in hospitals and nursing home residents. With a special focus on community feeding events and disaster outreach programs, we're helping children, teens and adults meet their immediate needs.

To comply with social distancing and the tips suggested by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, our community feeding events are contactless.

To learn more about our community outreach programs and volunteer opportunities

 Please Visit : https://handsofcompassiongroup.com/

Talk Less to Listen More to Learn More

Photo by August de Richelieu from Pexels

Think carefully before you speak.

‘The older I grow the more I listen to people who don’t talk much.’

German G Glien

Your words can hurt other people’s feelings. They may influence others, encourage them to do something they wouldn’t normally do. Don’t just throw around whatever you have in your mind. Because words have power to change people’s lives. So, use your words responsibly.

Listen more before jumping to conclusions. Consider all possible arguments, both for and against, no matter if you like those arguments or not at the very beginning. Look at the bigger picture, analyze every single piece of information, take your time to come up with personal judgments. Don’t act on impulse. Slow down.

Limit yourself to what’s important. Speak when necessary. 

There is so much noise in the current world already. Focus on what you’re trying to communicate, and find balance. If you narrow your speech down to what you’re really trying to say, people will listen. If you speak too much, they’ll fall asleep.

Get to know others better. You’ll never learn about other people, if you don’t let them talk, introduce themselves, share their successes and failures.

Photo by Startup Stock Photos from Pexels

Every person has its own unique life story. We all have something to say, no matter how important or trivial our speech is going to be. The question is, how much you’re willing to listen to get to know other people.

When you speak less, you do more. Actions speak louder than words. Some people tend to show off how many great products they bought, or where they spent their last summer holiday.

But, shouldn’t we ask, if they created something on their own, or they just bought souvenirs manufactured by others? Because creating has bigger value – it helps us to grow, discover new stuff, fail, learn from own mistakes.

For those of you who don’t like talking, try writing to express yourself. Maybe, some of you feel like nobody understands you, or you’re just being misunderstood. But, quiet people usually tend to observing others, analyze different situations, judge the world.

And then, they prefer to write because it’s easier for them to show who they really are. 

 Source Link: http://www.lifetobe.net/2019/12/15/talk-less-to-listen-more-to-learn-more/

The Art of Creating a Ritual for What Matters Most

“Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again.” ~Joseph Campbell

The Elements of Ritual

So what would a ritual contain? It’s an art, so you can make it however you like. However, some elements to consider:

• Create your environment: A ritual might have an altar, a temple, incense, etc. But your ritual doesn’t have to have these particular elements — the important thing is to consider what environment you’d like for this ritual, and how that environment will affect the practice. By taking care to create the environment, there’s an element of mindfulness and intention that is missing from most of our actions. An example might be to have flowers and music and sage as you do your yoga practice, or to eat dinner with phones off, a candle burning, and silence in the room.
• Intention: As you start, set an intention for the ritual. What would you like to practice during this ritual? How do you want to show up? Set the intention, and then carry that intention throughout the ritual.
• Bring presence: A key part of ritual is to be as fully present as you can. This is another element missing from most of our daily actions, but if we elevate something to ritual, it can increase our presence.
• Deep appreciation: Ritual is about bringing full appreciation to the act. A daily shower ritual is appreciating your body for the miracle it is. Daily eating rituals is appreciating not only the nourishing food, but the people who put their life energy into growing, transporting and preparing the food. A daily writing ritual might be an appreciation of your connection to your reader. We often take things for granted — ritual brings the appreciation for life, the world, others and ourselves back into our lives.
• Contemplation: Ritual can be a space for contemplating what’s important to you, what you are afraid of, what your aspirations are, and more. Again, this isn’t something we normally make space for, but what if we created that space?
• Connection to aspiration: What do you want to create in the world? Who do you want to be? How would you like to show up, to shift yourself, to serve others? Ritual is a way to connect to these aspirations, so that we can be more resolved to live them.
• Lift to sacredness: We take the ordinary things in our lives for granted, but what if we lifted the ordinary to sacredness? This doesn’t require a belief in The Most High (though it can) … it’s imbuing a power into an action. The word “sacred” comes from  the Latin “sacrāre,” which means to consecrate, to dedicate. That usually has holy connotations but can simply mean to be devoted to something that has power. What if we could see the mundane as powerfully sacred and magical?
• Close in gratitude: A ritual has a closing, which might be simply gratitude for whatever you just did, how you practiced, or what you are devoted to. Give a small prayer of thanks to yourself, to the world.

Rituals to Consider

Any act that you do each day, that’s important to you, can be considered for something to turn into a ritual.

For example, some that I’ve been experimenting with:

• Start of your day: How would you like to start your day? Can it be with intention, gratitude, reflection? With aspiration and appreciation? With meditation and quiet?
• Getting ready: When you get yourself ready for the day, will it be a rushed affair, or one of slowing down, appreciating your body, taking care of yourself, loving yourself?
• Writing or other work: Whether your work be writing or phone calls or building a house … you can elevate that to ritual by creating intention around it, appreciating what you’re creating, pouring yourself into the act, bringing mindfulness to it. How can you elevate it to ritual?
• Email & messages: We normally just dive into checking email and messages, but what if it became a sacred ritual of connecting to others, of carefully considering issues, of crafting language? Can we elevate the act to one of deep presence and appreciation?
• Eating: With eating, we can simply fuel our bodies and put food down our throats, phones or TVs distracting us … or we can elevate the eating to an act of nourishing and loving our bodies, connecting to others and the earth that has provided for us, connecting to loved ones’ hearts.
• Exercise: We can rush through exercise, just trying to get it over with. Or we can bring it to the realm of the divine, letting it be an act of love for our bodies, an act of connection to our environment, an act of full presence and highest purpose.
• Yoga: Is it just exercise and stretching, or can it be a ritual of full devotion and surrender, of practice of our highest selves?
• Meditation: We can sit there, waiting for the final meditation bell to ring, or we can let it be a ritual of practice for what we’d like to train in. Or simply a ritual of full appreciation for the moment.
• Sleep: Is sleep a matter of being on devices until we’re so tired we can’t check another thing on social media? Or a time when we reflect on our day, prepare for our time of rest, slow down and appreciate our lives?

I have to confess that I have not perfected the art of creating ritual for all of these things — I’m still learning, still experimenting. I have a lot of growth to do here. But when I do it, I’ve found it absolutely profound.

Elevating What Matters Most to You

What is important to you? If it’s in your life, you must care enough about it that you’ve included it. Our hours are precious and limited, and we can take care to only place the things that matter most into that limited space.

So what you’ve included in your life must matter tremendously. Why not craft a ritual for this thing that matters so much?

If you care about checking social media, messages, email, news, blogs — why not make this act into ritual?

If you care about your relationship with someone, why not create a connection ritual where you fully connect with them?

If you care about reading, why not make a reading ritual?

If you care about your meaningful work, why not create a ritual for practicing with that work?

I invite you to create ritual around the deeper practice of your meaningful work with my latest creation.