The Practice of Using December for Retreat, Reflection & Letting Go


December can be a cold and dark month for many people, a time of lowered energy while still being very busy. For that reason, I find that’s an amazing time for:

·                                 Retreat: Take a little time out of my busy year for a little quiet solitude and turn inward, creating space for silence, contemplation, and mindfulness.

·                                 Reflection: This quiet time is a time to reflect on how the year has gone, and how I’d like to move into the New Year. We don’t often give ourselves enough time for reflection, as we’re always busy with activities.

·                                 Letting go: What have we become burdened with over the past year? Over the past decade? This time of turning inward is also a great time to let go of burdens, resentments, etc.

It’s a season for retreat and reflection, for me. Let’s talk about how that can look.

Creating Space for Retreat


Imagine that you were to sign up for a retreat this month … you put aside your daily life, all your busy work, all your projects and errands, and emails and messages … and you travel to another place. In this place, you remove yourself from the busy world and find space for quiet. For reflection. For contemplation, setting intentions, and reviewing how things have gone. For gratitude and appreciation for life. You might meditate, relax, read, or journal. You might take a walk in nature, or find solitude. You might just mindfully enjoy the space. You can do all of this without traveling, right where you are. It takes intention and taking action to create the space.


1                         Intention: You simply have to create the intention to create space for retreat. It’s as simple as saying, “I am going to create some space for reflection, mindfulness, gratitude, intention and letting go this month.” It’s the same as when you create the intention to sign up for a retreat, but instead of paying someone else to create the space for you … you do it yourself. Set the intention, even write it down.

2                          Create the space: This takes a little more work, but it’s absolutely doable. When can you create space for a retreat? Can you carve out 30-60 minutes a day? A couple hours? Can you take every Saturday off for this month? Or a full three days this weekend, or a full five days? It’s a matter of blocking off the time in your calendar, and then getting things done so that you can have that space — clearing out urgent messages and tasks, rescheduling appointments, and talking to people in your life so that you can have this space. It might mean renegotiating deadlines or project timelines. If you were going to travel to a retreat, you’d do all of this — this will just cost you less.

Now, you can actually go to a different place during your retreat — take a walk in a park or forest, or rent a hotel room in your city. Or you can do it at home if you can resist distractions. But the key thing is not to get caught up in your usual tasks and routines. Retreat from life, so that you can contemplate and reflect. Find solitude. Practice gratitude and mindfulness. Use a paper notebook and practice journaling.

Using This Time for Reflection


So you have a little space — maybe 30-60 minutes a day, maybe a day or two a week, maybe more. This space can be considered sacred. It’s devotional time, where you can devote yourself completely to:

·                                 Reflecting on your past year — how has it gone? What went well? What did you struggle with? What can you learn from all of that?

·                                 Reflecting on what you’re grateful for, and what you’d like to appreciate more of in your life.

·                                 Reflecting on what you might be holding onto — grudges, frustrations, resentments, emotional baggage, attachment — that you can let go of (more in the next section).

·                                 Contemplating what’s most meaningful to you in your life.

·                                 Contemplating what kind of meaningful work or purpose you’d like to pursue, or how to better pursue that.

·                                 Contemplating what you’d like to put your focus on.

·                                 Being mindful of each moment, and allowing yourself to appreciate the moment in silence.

You don’t have to do all of these, but you can consider which feels right to you. The idea is to use this sacred time for reflection, gratitude, mindfulness, contemplation, and solitude. Let this time in solitude be replenishing. Let it heal you. Let it be a beautiful time in your life.

Living For Everyone Else.....


A lot of people don’t do minimalism because it doesn’t seem realistic for their lives. But what they often mean is that they don’t want others to think they’re weird.
Wearing the same clothes every day might seem weird to your friends and co-workers. Having no car might make you seem like an oddball. Not having a smartphone might make you uncool. Living in a small home or an RV might make everyone think you’re poor or crazy. 
But who  are we living for?
I am all for living to help other people, but when we live our lives to the expectations of other people; we end up living lives we don’t want. And what do we get when we live up to the expectations of all these other people? They really don’t care — they just don’t like things different because they are uncomfortable with change. Staying the same as everyone else doesn’t make everyone else happier — it just doesn’t force them to reflect on their lives.
Where do these expectations come from, anyway? Other people didn’t just make them up — they are customs built up over the years, often very consciously by corporations trying to get us into expensive buying habits
For example, we have so many clothes, gadgets and other possessions because ads have sold us on the idea that we need clothing to look stylish, to be successful, to feel like we are above ourselves or as good as the people we idolize and worship.
Now don’t get me wrong I like nice things too and I am I’m not saying we should go live in the woods and ignore society (though that’s not a bad option). People don’t go wild with anger when they hear that I don’t celebrate holidays but I might get a raised eyebrow when they find out I dance to the beat of my own drum and I enjoy listening to the wind whisper and the flow of progress. Here what I have learned over the years is hurt people, hurt people and you don't need everyone to like or even love you. 
I have learned that  you have to learn to block out the noises of the drama and negativity and focus on taking deep breath, reset, reshift and restart again and go on with your life. 
Go against the stream — the other fish don’t know where they’re going either!
When it comes to others, be helpful, compassionate, and establish your boundaries. But don’t live up to their expectations. You’ll be freed of the shackles of meaningless customs, so that you can live as you want one day at a time.....

10 Questions with Sims Strategic Mentoring Program Founder Walter Sims

Tell Us About Yourself: Walter Sims CEO and Founder of Sims Strategic Mentoring Program. I founded the program out of a desired compassion to empower unfortunate youth. It formed from me and a few other adults getting a group of young kids to question neighbors on how they can improve the community. Youth were evaluated on their approach and behavior in the matter, and then rewarded for their participation and effort. 
The program then took the initiative to implement such improvements. We served the community in feeding the homeless and doing Christmas dinners and gift giveaways.

What are your favorite’s quotes?
I owe God everything; Mindset is everything, Empowering minds to embrace kindness 

Can you tell us a little bit about your business or the work you do?
Youth and their family members are referred to Sims Strategic Mentoring, upon enrolling, an evaluation will occur to better understand referrals needs in developing properly. Then thorough background checked and trained mentors are assigned to assist referrals needs. The program also works with other non-profit organizations through inspirational speaking, community involvement and social development. 

What brings you the greatest joy?
Knowing and seeing that someone has taken what has been giving through me to empower themselves to be a change. 

What is the best advice you've been given?
 Be the change you want to see in the world. 

What accomplishment are you most proud of?
 Forgiving myself of what am unable to change. 

What are the two things people would be surprised to know about you?
 Where I came from and how I was able to overcome so much riding against my present and future. 
What is one thing you wish you knew when you were younger?
 That time is very precious to an unlearn mind. 

Do you help the community?
 Yes! I currently build and distribute supplies to not so fortunate neighborhoods. 

If you could talk to three people, who would they be and why?
 My Father God- To praise him,
My Dad and Grandmother -To ask unanswered questions. 

Do you have any advice you would like to leave with the reader?
Stop!!!! Obsessing over what you are trying to do and be and allow your path to form as you prepare to step into it. May God guide you. 

For More Information contact Walter Sims 
(501) 541-9178  
Location: North Little Rock area
FaceBook @ Sims Strategic Mentoring Program 






Dimensions of Personal Empowerment

The following ‘dimensions of personal empowerment’ are based on the belief that the greater the range of coping responses an individual develops, the greater their chance of coping effectively with diverse life situations.

These dimensions are:
Self-Awareness
Self-awareness involves understanding our individual character and how we are likely to respond to situations.
This enables us to build on our positive qualities and be aware of any negative traits which may reduce our effectiveness.  Self-aware people make conscious decisions to enhance their lives whenever possible, learning from past experiences.
Values
Values are opinions or beliefs that are important to us but of which we are not always aware.
They can be any kind of belief or perceived obligation, anything we prefer and for any reason. The reasons we may prefer one thing over another, or choose one course of action over another, may not always be obvious or known; there may be no apparent reason for our values. Nevertheless our values are important to us as individuals. In order to be self-aware it is necessary to be aware of our values, to critically examine them and to accept that our values may be different from those of others.
Skills
An individual's skills are the main resource which enables them to achieve their desired goals.
Skills can be gained through experience, practice, education and training. It is only by developing such skills that individual values can be translated into action.
Information
Knowledge or information is necessary in the development of self-awareness and skills.
Knowing where to find appropriate information is in itself an essential skill. Without information, the choices open to people are limited, both in their personal and working lives. The internet has provided an easy way for everybody to access huge amounts of information very quickly and easily.  The problem is then centered around the quality of the information found, and the skill set is concerned with finding accurate and reliable information.
Goals
Setting goals is a means by which an individual can take charge of their life.
The process of setting a goal involves people thinking about their values and the direction that they would like their lives to follow. Choices are made through reflection followed by action. Goals should always be both specific and realistic. Setting personal goals gives us a sense of direction in life, this direction is essential to personal empowerment.

Note 2 Self:
 Trust can be broken very quickly and may never be restored to its former level. Think about the points above and try to build and maintain trusting relationships in both your personal and professional life.

Reference:


Simplify Your Day to Have a Greater Impact

Our society is obsessed with productivity and optimizing our lives — having the perfect routine, perfect diet, perfect productivity system, perfect to-do app, and more.
It’s an ideal that not only doesn’t exist; it’s harmful to our health and happiness. And what’s more, it’s completely misguided — what many of us really want to do with our work is do meaningful work and have an impact on the world.
So how can we let go of the focus on productivity and optimizing, while still doing meaningful work and having an impact?
Simplify. Focus on the important, meaningful tasks instead of churning. And actually dive into those meaningful tasks instead of procrastinating because of the uncertainty that comes with them.
Look at your task list and email/messages inbox and pick the most meaningful tasks — there’s a good chance you’ve been putting them off. Instead, when you don’t go to your favorite distractions, you are likely to churn through smaller tasks, answering messages, checking on inboxes and updates.
This is because meaningful, important tasks come with great uncertainty. We habitually respond to this uncertainty by avoiding it, going to distraction and easier tasks that make us feel less uncertain.
But the result is that we’re churning through a lot of busywork, spending our days doing a lot but not getting a lot accomplished.
Instead, we can simplify:
  1.                           Pick meaningful tasks, and focus on those.
  2.                            Create space by clearing away distractions.
  3.                            Letting the busywork get pushed until later in the day, when we set aside room for those.
  4.                           And putting our entire being into the meaningful, important tasks.
Imagine clearing out space in your day by simplifying, letting go of the small tasks, not constantly answering messages and emails, and instead giving yourself the generous gift of focusing.
You’d get the meaningful tasks done, and feel like your work is more meaningful. Those tasks would make a greater impact, and over time, you’d have a great impact on the world.
All because you simplified and focused.


Junk Food Sex: What Kind Of Relationships Are You Consuming

   Junk food sex: interactions of a sexual nature that are not good for your physical or emotional well being. It is in high supply—in fact it is everywhere—and therefore is convenient and easily accessible. Although that may sound appealing, and the sex may be enjoyable, it is of little or no real value and leaves you feeling emotionally malnourished. It is immediately satisfying but leaves you longing for intimacy and connection.
 This post is intends to help you determine the quality of the relationships you are consuming. It challenges you to purge the junk and feed your needs with nutritious relationships.
  Research actually shows us that those who engage in sexual relations within 30 days of dating have roughly a 25% chance of being together a year later. Those odds increase if you wait past 30 days, and improve significantly if you can wait 60-90 days.
     This means that the longer you can wait, the better the probability of building a lasting relationship. We often engage in premature sex in relationships because it gives us a false sense of security in this high anxiety time, but consuming junk food sex actually prevents you from being able to find the secure and lasting relationship you are looking for.
     Premature sex clouds your judgment and keeps you from rationally assessing the situation. Therefore, if you can control your desire for junk food sex, you have a better chance and being able to get your emotional and relationship needs met. 
Recap, junk food sex is:                     
  • Not good for your physical or emotional well being
  • Is in high supply—it’s everywhere, which makes it convenient.
  • Is appealing or enjoyable but of little or no real value
  • Immediately satisfying but in the long-term leaves you feeling malnourished
  • Because your needs for connection and intimacy are not being met


Original Article By:  Djossa, E. (n.d.).  From: The Love Reset « The Love Compass
Erica Djossa is the founder of The Love Compass and a psychotherapist who specializes in relationships.
If you have any questions or inquiries please email Erica (at) the-love-compass (dot) com.


10 Questions with Nate Walls-Event Griller



What are your favorite’s quotes? I would have to say..
"Hate does not drive out hate, only love can do that"
"Only I can change my life"
"Don't take yourself too seriously...nobody else does"
Can you tell us a little bit about your business or the work you do?
Secondhand Smoke BBQ...a community-based catering and vending joint that does everything from high-end events to backyard grilling...particularly passionate events...when you're fed up...I get you fed up!
What brings you the greatest joy?
My wife and our children we share together….

What is the best advice you've been given?
You're only as good as your last event and meet people where they are

What accomplishment are you most proud of?
You're only as good as your last event and meet people where they are.

 What are the two things people would be surprised to know about you?
I cry watching tear-jerker movies and I suffer from depression

What is one thing you wish you knew when you were younger?
Drugs and Alcohol destroy families!

Do you help the community?
I give back to the community every chance I get! Cooking for the homeless is my passion and not just them...cooking for the entire community!
If you could talk to three people, who would they be and why?
Hmmm...Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Myron Mixon (The Pitmaster BBQ Jesus) and My Mama to tell her I'm following the process  

Do you have any advice you would like to leave with the reader?
Don't stop caring about people, love yourself and don't ever give up! Ever!



secondhandsmokenwa@gmail.com

My-T-By-Design Therapeutic Art Studio First Year Grand Opening Ribbon Cutting Celebration

My-T-By-Design Therapeutic Art Studio First Year Grand Opening Ribbon Cutting Celebration Event with Owner, Lakisha Harper- Bradley


Over 13 businesses/entrepreneur  was recognize and took part in the biggest ribbon  cutting with Mayor Lioneld  Jordan of FayettevilleArkansas, for this monumental event.
About Lakisha Harper-Bradley, she is a Mother  Motivational Artist  Entrepreneur  Community Advocate  Learning and Growing Through Life
Lakisha Pearls of Wisdom-
When you hear those whispers saying it’s time for a change or to do something that is out of the ordinary that is your inner soul speaking to you. Even though it may be scary and uncomfortable in the moment, just trust and believe the process because what is unordinary will soon manifest itself to be an extraordinary blessing bigger than you can image.









 We believe that you are MIGHTY BY DESIGN and that is why it is our mission to help you SEE YOUR VALUE and KNOW YOUR WORTH through our impactful process.

Check Us Out-
At MY-T-BY-DESIGN, our events are unique that #1 We have a studio and We’re Mobile! #2 We customize our workshops based on your needs. #3 We combine technology, conversation, leadership/personal development training, painting and much more!

For More Information, Contact-
Lakisha Harper-Bradley
CEO/Founder, MY-T-BY-DESIGN “Imperfectly Painting with a Purpose”
Email: 23breakthrough@gmail.com

Love, Life, and Your Health: Helpful Things to Know If You're Considering A Hysterectomy

Hysterectomy is the surgical removal of the uterus. It ends menstruation and the ability to become pregnant. Depending on the reason for the surgery, a hysterectomy may also involve the removal of other organs and tissues, such as the ovaries and/or fallopian tubes.

Your health care provider might recommend a hysterectomy if you have
·         Fibroids. Many hysterectomies are done to permanently treat these benign tumors in your uterus that can cause persistent bleeding, anemia, pelvic pain, and pain during intercourse and bladder pressure. For large fibroids, you might need surgery that removes your uterus through an incision in your lower abdomen (abdominal hysterectomy).
·         Endometriosis. This occurs when the tissue lining your uterus (endometrium) grows outside the uterus, involving the ovaries, fallopian tubes or other organs. Most women with endometriosis have a laparoscopic or robotic hysterectomy or abdominal hysterectomy, but sometimes a vaginal hysterectomy is possible.
·         Adenomyosis. This occurs when the tissue that normally lines the uterus grows into the uterine wall. An enlarged uterus and painful, heavy periods result.
·         Gynecological cancer. If you have cancer of the uterus, cervix, endometrium or ovaries, or precancerous changes, your doctor might recommend a hysterectomy. Most often, treatment for ovarian cancer involves an abdominal hysterectomy, but sometimes vaginal hysterectomy is appropriate for women with cervical or endometrial cancer.
·         Uterine prolapse. When pelvic supporting tissues and ligaments weaken or stretch out, the uterus can sag into the vagina, causing urine leakage, pelvic pressure or difficulty with bowel movements. Removing the uterus and repairing supportive tissues might relieve those symptoms.
·         Abnormal uterine bleeding. When medication or a less invasive surgical procedure doesn't control irregular, heavy or very long periods, hysterectomy may be needed.
·         Chronic pelvic pain. If your pain is clearly caused by a uterine condition, hysterectomy might help, but only as a last resort. Chronic pelvic pain can have several causes, so an accurate diagnosis of the cause is critical before having a hysterectomy.

Types of Hysterectomy

  • Partial Hysterectomy – removes the body of the uterus while the cervix is left in place.
  • Total or Simple Hysterectomy – removes the entire uterus and cervix.
  • Hysterectomy with Bilateral Salpingo-Oophorectomy – removes the uterus, cervix, and fallopian tubes.
  • Radical Hysterectomy – removes the uterus, cervix, ovaries, fallopian tubes and possible upper portions of the vagina and affected lymph glands.

Are there alternatives to hysterectomy?

Depending on your condition, you may want to try other options first that do not involve surgery or to “watch and wait” to see if your condition improves on its own (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, 2018). Some women wait to have a hysterectomy until after they have completed their families. If you choose another option besides hysterectomy, keep in mind that you may need additional treatment later.

Risks

Although vaginal hysterectomy is generally safe, any surgery has risks. Risks of vaginal hysterectomy include:
  • ·               Heavy bleeding
  • ·               Blood clots in the legs or lungs
  • ·               Infection
  • ·               Damage to surrounding organs
  • ·               Adverse reaction to anesthetic

Severe endometriosis or scar tissue (pelvic adhesions) might force your surgeon to switch from vaginal hysterectomy to laparoscopic or abdominal hysterectomy during the surgery.
Except in cases of suspected uterine cancer, the surgeon might cut an enlarged uterus into smaller pieces and remove it in sections (morcellation).

What should I expect after having a hysterectomy?

According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, 2018, you can expect to have some pain for the first few days after the surgery. You will be given medication to relieve pain. You will have bleeding and discharge from your vagina for several weeks. Sanitary pads can be used after the surgery. Constipation is common after most hysterectomies.
Some women have temporary problems with emptying the bladder after a hysterectomy. Other effects may be emotional. It is not uncommon to have an emotional response to hysterectomy. You may feel depressed that you are no longer able to bear children, or you may be relieved that your former symptoms are gone
What are some important things I should know about recovery?
Follow your health care professional's instructions. Be sure to get plenty of rest, but you also need to move around as often as you can.
  • ·        Take short walks and gradually increase the distance you walk every day.
  • ·        You should not lift heavy objects until your doctor says you can.
  • ·        Do not put anything in your vagina during the first 6 weeks. That includes douching, having sex, and using tampons

After you recover, you should continue to see your health care professional for routine gynecologic exams and general health care. Depending on the reason for your hysterectomy, you still may need pelvic exams and cervical cancer.
References:
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (2018, October). Hysterectomy. Retrieved from https://www.acog.org/Patients/FAQs/Hysterectomy?
Cleveland Clinic. (2018, June 25). Hysterectomy. Retrieved from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/4852-hysterectomy
National Women’s Health Network (NWHN). (2016, November 28). Hysterectomy. Retrieved from https://www.nwhn.org/hysterectomy/
Mayo Clinic. (2018, December 13). Vaginal hysterectomy. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/vaginal-hysterectomy/about/pac-20384541