Moving From Desire to Action

I’ve been noticing lately how much of our lives is spent wanting to do something, wishing we could do something … but struggling to move into action.

What’s the struggle to make this transition all about?

And how can we more consciously make the transition into action?

Let’s look at a couple of typical examples so we can see what we’re dealing with.

• There’s a task I know I want to do (or maybe I feel I should do), but I keep putting it off. Something about it brings me uncertainty, and that makes it uncomfortable, so I put it off over and over. When I finally do it, it’s way easier than I feared it would be, and I wonder what took me so long.
• There’s a project I’ve been wanting to do for some time, but I keep telling myself it’s not the right time. I’m not ready, or things are too busy. Even when I find more space, I find other reasons not to do it, because I’m not sure how to do it, and taking it on will be stepping outside of my comfort zone.
• I want to hire a coach or start a program that I know will give me the support I’ve been looking for, but I hesitate. I am not sure if I’ll do good enough if I’ll be right for the program if I’ll do what’s needed to get value out of it. So I stay in indecision and put off making the commitment.

You might be able to tell what’s stopping us: uncertainty, the unknown, and fear.

Fear and uncertainty about the unknown keep us from crossing the threshold into action.

The ironic thing is that often the most powerful thing we can do in uncertainty is to step into action – it’s in the realm of doing that we learn anything and that we’ll get the answers we’re looking for.

So how do we cross from uncertainty and indecision and avoidance … into action?

1. Intention. Set an intention to be in action, rather than getting stuck.
2. Turn towards. Notice the uncertainty and fear in your body, as sensations. Can you mindfully be with it, when it shows up, and bring it, love?
3. Ask what you really want. Is this something you care deeply about? Is there a possibility this represents that is meaningful to you? Do you want this?
4. Make the smallest movement. Often the smallest step can get the ball rolling, and we always forget that.
5. Find joy. How can this action feel joyous, wondrous, sacred, and alive for you?

The more we practice this, the better we get at it. And being in action not only feels good, but it also starts to clear up a lot of the stuckness of our lives.

Finding Freedom in Any Moment

One of our deepest desire is for freedom: to be free of stress, anxiety, a frustrating person, a difficult situation, financial struggles, health problems, the daily grind, distractions, feeling inadequate. So many books, products, and other paid solutions offer a version of this freedom. Escape. Peace. Mindfulness. Simplicity. Self-esteem. A better relationship. Health and fitness. Freedom, for a price. 

One of the great discoveries of my life is that this freedom is always available to us. In any moment. 

That might sound obvious to some of you, but you’d be surprised at how often we forget this, even after we discover it. 

The Obstacle to Our Freedom

If freedom is always available to us, why is it so difficult to find? It’s important to bring awareness to the obstacle before we look at solutions.  

Let’s imagine you’re in a situation with someone who is absolutely frustrating you… you just want to get away from them, to a place with peace and quiet, to freedom from this frustrating person.

      What in this moment is preventing you from feeling freedom?

 It might seem like it’s the other person … but it’s never really something external. They might be the trigger for how you feel, but in reality, we are the ones who create the feeling of frustration, through how we’re viewing the situation or other person.

Let me emphasize that: how we view the other person, or the situation, creates our feeling of stress, frustration, anger, disappointment. It doesn’t really matter what the external situation is: some frustrating person, politics, a sporting event, our own behavior. If a feeling of lack of freedom gets created, it’s because of our view. This isn’t to blame ourselves — we’re not doing anything wrong. It’s simply to bring awareness to the cause of this obstacle. The liberating thing is that if our views are responsible for this difficulty … we have the power to change the situation! Always.

Creating Freedom in Any Moment

So let’s go back to that moment when someone is acting in a frustrating way, and we just want to get away from them, to peace and freedom …

In this situation, we can absolutely create freedom for ourselves by getting out of the situation, going for a walk, finding the freedom of nature. And in fact, I highly recommend it in most cases.

But I want to use this scenario to show that freedom can be had even without walking away. Simply an illustration of the principle, not a recommendation to stay in a frustrating situation.

So how can we find freedom? Here’s a simple method that can be practiced:

1.                             Recognize that you’re frustrated (or stressed, disappointed, lonely, etc). Let yourself feel the feelings, as sensations in your body. There’s nothing wrong with how you’re feeling. Then bring awareness to your view. The view that is causing the frustration: “They shouldn’t act this way” or “They always criticize me, I don’t know why they have to be so critical” or “I shouldn’t be such a procrastinator, I suck!” We’re not criticizing the view, not even saying it’s wrong … we’re just bringing awareness to the view that’s causing the lack of freedom.

3.                             Ask if the view is helping you or serving you. If you’re feeling frustrated or hurt, it’s probably not. Ask whether you’re committed to staying this way, or if you’d like to change. If you’d like to change, move on to the next step.

4.                             Loosen your grip on the view. For example: Do you really know someone shouldn’t act the way they should? Have you walked in their shoes? Do you know how everyone should act? I personally don’t even know how I should act; let alone how others should act. This kind of inquiry is not to tell ourselves that our view is wrong — it’s simply to loosen our attachment to the view, to show that there might be other possibilities. Is it possible there are other perspectives? Other things you don’t know?

5.                             Experience the world free of views. In any moment, we can simply let go of our views and see the world just as it is. See the objects, the light, the colors and textures, the space of the world around us. See the other person simply as a collection of matter and energy. Just experience the moment as direct experience, not as part of a narrative that we have in our heads. This is true freedom, and it’s simply being in the moment free of views, just experiencing. It’s like when you’ve been out in nature, fully immersed in the experience without really thinking anything, lazily lying in the grass staring up at the trees and sky, floating in the ocean feeling one with the water, on vacation in a hammock fully relaxed and without any worries. This is the freedom available to us at any moment.

6.                             Bonus: Bring in a new, helpful perspective. First of all, you don’t need a new perspective — freedom is experiencing the moment without views. That said, sometimes it can be helpful to try out new perspectives! For example … can we find gratitude for this person, or for ourselves? Can we see the gift that they are, or that we are? Can we feel a connection to them, or find compassion for the fear and pain they’re feeling? Could we bring curiosity or a sense of exploration to the situation? This kind of thing isn’t always helpful (for example, if you’re in danger or in an abusive situation, get away!), but can very often be worth trying out.

This all takes practice, obviously. You can’t do the last few steps until you start practicing the first few steps. The last few steps can be a struggle when we’re really strongly holding our views. Don’t worry too much about that, just keep practicing!

The Power of Finding This Freedom

If we learn to practice this kind of freedom in any moment, we start to have much more choice.

For example:

·                                 If we were thinking about breaking up with someone because we’re tired of being in frustrating conflicts with them, we might be able to let go of the frustration and find peace, even when they’re upset. This might allow us to be more compassionate with them and could shift the entire relationship. Not necessarily, but there is a possibility here.

·                                 If we’re frustrated with ourselves, it can be the start of a kinder relationship with ourselves.

·                                 If we’re avoiding something, like doing our taxes or budget, instead of avoiding it to be free of the stress … we could actually find freedom doing the task. This allows us to find freedom in any activity: exercise, cleaning, decluttering, writing, being in a meeting.

·                                 We can eventually be free to do anything: launch a business, write and publish a book, put our creations on social media, connect with people online, be on a stage, create a movement. Because the things that were limiting us before are no longer limitations — we can be free doing all of these things.

What would that be like?

Clear Distractions and Finding Balance

When it comes to the minimalism of doing, distractions are the biggest obstacle.

We must first identify what’s most important to us, what we’re passionate about, what we want to spend our time on. And then we must focus on those things first.

But the distractions. They get in the way of this focusing, no?

Without distractions, you’ll be able to focus. You’ll find peace. You’ll find time for doing what you love.  Note 2 Self: Our expectations of others often cause our own struggles and frustrations.

Here’s how:

• Cut back your social networking to network (or two at the most) – including Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, forums, etc. These are hugely distracting when trying to reset yourself.
• Cut back on your social networking “friends”. Stick to your actual friends and colleagues. Networking with thousands of people you don’t know is superficial and distracting..
• Do less email. Start by sending less. Check email less often. Use the phone or face-to-face conversations when possible.
• Shut down the Internet to work. Disconnect, and work without distractions.
• Separate consuming from creating. Reading and networking and emailing are different from actually creating. Do them at separate times.
• Set a limited reading time. If you read a lot on the web, or RSS feeds, set limits and do it at specified times.
• Shut off notifications. 
• Clear away icons on your desktop. File them all in one folder, and use an app launcher.
• Clear your actual desk.
• Use music to block out your surroundings.
• Get away from the computer, spend time with actual people.
• Shut off the smart phone. Seriously.
• Focus on the most important tasks first, before you get distracted.
• Set limits on your work hours. If your time is limited, you’ll find ways to make the most of that limited time.
• Go for a walk, do yoga or meditation
• Declutter your life
• Get rid of toxic people 

Small is beautiful. Aim for smaller when it makes sense, and enjoy the wonder that ensues.

minimalist

[ min-uh-muh-list ]

SEE SYNONYMS FOR minimalist ON THESAURUS.COM

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noun

a person who favors a moderate approach to the achievement of a set of goals or who holds minimal expectations for the success of a program.

The Practice of Using December for Retreat, Reflection & Letting Go

December can be a cold and dark month for many people, a time of lowered energy while still being very busy. For that reason, I find that’s an amazing time for:

·                                 Retreat: Take a little time out of my busy year for a little quiet solitude and turn inward, creating space for silence, contemplation, and mindfulness.

·                                 Reflection: This quiet time is a time to reflect on how the year has gone, and how I’d like to move into the New Year. We don’t often give ourselves enough time for reflection, as we’re always busy with activities.

·                                 Letting go: What have we become burdened with over the past year? Over the past decade? This time of turning inward is also a great time to let go of burdens, resentments, etc.

It’s a season for retreat and reflection, for me. Let’s talk about how that can look.

Creating Space for Retreat

Imagine that you were to sign up for a retreat this month … you put aside your daily life, all your busy work, all your projects and errands, and emails and messages … and you travel to another place. In this place, you remove yourself from the busy world and find space for quiet. For reflection. For contemplation, setting intentions, and reviewing how things have gone. For gratitude and appreciation for life. You might meditate, relax, read, or journal. You might take a walk in nature, or find solitude. You might just mindfully enjoy the space. You can do all of this without traveling, right where you are. It takes intention and taking action to create the space.

1                         Intention: You simply have to create the intention to create space for retreat. It’s as simple as saying, “I am going to create some space for reflection, mindfulness, gratitude, intention and letting go this month.” It’s the same as when you create the intention to sign up for a retreat, but instead of paying someone else to create the space for you … you do it yourself. Set the intention, even write it down.

2                          Create the space: This takes a little more work, but it’s absolutely doable. When can you create space for a retreat? Can you carve out 30-60 minutes a day? A couple hours? Can you take every Saturday off for this month? Or a full three days this weekend, or a full five days? It’s a matter of blocking off the time in your calendar, and then getting things done so that you can have that space — clearing out urgent messages and tasks, rescheduling appointments, and talking to people in your life so that you can have this space. It might mean renegotiating deadlines or project timelines. If you were going to travel to a retreat, you’d do all of this — this will just cost you less.

Now, you can actually go to a different place during your retreat — take a walk in a park or forest, or rent a hotel room in your city. Or you can do it at home if you can resist distractions. But the key thing is not to get caught up in your usual tasks and routines. Retreat from life, so that you can contemplate and reflect. Find solitude. Practice gratitude and mindfulness. Use a paper notebook and practice journaling.

Using This Time for Reflection

So you have a little space — maybe 30-60 minutes a day, maybe a day or two a week, maybe more. This space can be considered sacred. It’s devotional time, where you can devote yourself completely to:

·                                 Reflecting on your past year — how has it gone? What went well? What did you struggle with? What can you learn from all of that?

·                                 Reflecting on what you’re grateful for, and what you’d like to appreciate more of in your life.

·                                 Reflecting on what you might be holding onto — grudges, frustrations, resentments, emotional baggage, attachment — that you can let go of (more in the next section).

·                                 Contemplating what’s most meaningful to you in your life.

·                                 Contemplating what kind of meaningful work or purpose you’d like to pursue, or how to better pursue that.

·                                 Contemplating what you’d like to put your focus on.

·                                 Being mindful of each moment, and allowing yourself to appreciate the moment in silence.

You don’t have to do all of these, but you can consider which feels right to you. The idea is to use this sacred time for reflection, gratitude, mindfulness, contemplation, and solitude. Let this time in solitude be replenishing. Let it heal you. Let it be a beautiful time in your life.